Slacking, but some tidbits

We’re chilling the fuck out in an undisclosed country for a week or so, somewhere far from the sounds of Jeanneret and
Bob Cole:

And yeah, we missed the All-Star Sort-of-Star game with the mic’d up goalies who took on Bettman while live play was happening all around them…and allowing a goal just 15 seconds into [...]

Downie’s Syndrome Cured! (Thanks, Georges!)

WayOffside has recently learned that Quebec-born Georges Laraque is a hobbyist physician. Our team of researchers/shower voyeurs and stick boys recovered his medical journal following last night’s game against the Flyers.
Log: 1/24/08
Location: Philadelphia
Notes: Oui, les Flyers’ hab all succumbed to Downie’s Syndrome. It’s ‘ard to believe that these…these…these, eh, man/enfants have not learned [...]

Ferguson Fired, Applies at Dairy Queen

Fired from his GM job with the Toronto Maple Leafs today, John Ferguson Jr. has been scouting the soft serve machine at DQ. He’s definitely accrued the relevant soft cone experience: for the past two years he’s stacked long, soft, circular pooings in his own bed, the beds of his players, the beds of the [...]

Tuesday Regurgitations

Bye bye, Fergie: We wish we could have said we hardly knew ye. But we did.
The Caps are for real. Ovechkin dominated the Penguins like Star Jones at a Dunkin’. Malkin and Ovechkin nearly duke it out for top Russian honors, each scored two and added a helper, but Ovechkin went to work in the [...]

Crosby Hurt, Everyone’s Plans Ruined—Except Pittsburgh’s.

Possibly stoned like the rest of his team on Saturday night, the Canadiens’ Andrei Kostitsyn is stoned by Penguins goaltender Dany Sabourin during second period action in Montreal.
Oh the humanity! The NHL’s annointed Lord and Saviour, Jesus “Sidney” Crosby, has been declared out at least 4-6 weeks with an “upper ankle sprain” (what the [...]

Video: Goal of the year

Last night, Columbus took on the Coyotes. Normally two teams we could give a shit about. But tied 3-3, 30 seconds left in the game, Mike Peca sends the outlet pass to Rick Nash who then tears off the Coyotes penises and feeds it to them.

…but is it better than Kovalchuk’s end-to-end, “I Russian, you [...]

Video: Smell The Glove, Indeed

Ducks vs. Stars, Niedermayer pots one adds two helpers, blahdeddy fucking blah: Brad May and Krys Barch chucked mitts in a quality brouhaha. But forward on to about 1:15 of the video (during the replay of the fight. Can you believe we lived without fight replays because it was “too violent?” and watch Barch tell [...]

Will They or Fuckin’ Won’t They? (Fire JFJ…)

The Leafs are almost certain to get anally raped by a hungry, also skidding Carolina tonight. So the question is not how much they will lose by, but whether or not they will finally fire the root cause of the debacle, one douchebag named John Ferguson Junior (see JFJ Suicide Watch parts 1 - 1,000,000).

Sundin rumour talk du jour: Should they, or shouldn’t they?

The Habs would love to weigh in. They (sort of) did.

Video: Why The Rangers Suck

They had the top free agent signings over the summer. They were to be an offensive powerhouse. A first line of Jagr, Gomez, and Drury. And they’ve gone from first to last in their division. But thanks to Jeff Marek, we know why. The 2007-2008 Rangers have been cursed by Ranger mistakes of old. But [...]