Nashville’s Legwand makes NHL all-star DUI team

Hi ya’ll. I’m Brad Paisley, and I’m gonna sing you a song about a hero of mine—big-time hockey-playin’ man David Legwand.

He was traveling fast on Eighth Avenue South
When a cop pulled him over, looked him in the mouth
Said, boy you doing 50 in a 35 mile zone.

“Well that may be, occifer my friend
‘cause math ain’t my strong point in the end
though $27 mill for six-years adds up fine.”

“An’ it would do you good to try an’ remember
that’s the deal I struck and signed last December
‘cause I’m a big-time hockey playin’ man.”

Well his eyes was bloodshot, his pupils dilated
An’ he reeked of booze when he also stated
he was at my concert where he only had one beer.

“But I ain’t taking no breath test copper
‘cause for my career it could be a stopper
so I reckon I’ll just let you take my car.”

but two glasses of wine, two larges glasses of beer
he quickly recalculated, have no fear
‘cause math never was his strong point in the end

now the Predators’ center is the center of attention
for the NHL’s latest crime prevention
a poster boy for the rich and famous and pissed.

And when his March court date becomes more than talk
It’s sure that Bettman will make him walk
The gangplank of a 15-game suspension.

That’s 15 games he won’t be there
An’ 15 games that we won’t care
Cause now he’s just a big-time hockey playin’ drunk.