John Ferguson Suicide Watch: day 1


It’s only hours after the Leafs bent over and lubed for the Capitals in their own building. Ovechkin sank two, and five guys who hadn’t scored all year potted their first of the season. Half the building had left by the third and the rest were booing. Toronto sports writers, who are enjoying a welcome change of scenery after removing their head from their asses after 40 years in rectal exile, are already pissy. So tomorrow’s papers are going to be ugly. Ottawa fans should consider getting copies shipped. That kind of pornography happens once in a lifetime. Well, maybe twice. Because something terrible is going to happen to Ferguson. If he’s assassinated before he commits suicide, you owe us 20 bucks.


4 Responses

  1. John Ferguson can’t kill himself soon enough for me. I was listening to the game on the radio and turned it off at 3-1, 4-1, 5-1, and 6-1 respectively. Thank god I didn’t keep listening…

    But they need to get rid of Raycroft. Starting goalie having a bad night, another case of the jitters in the overly auspicious Air Canada Centre, so what? Shit happens. That’s why you have back-ups. And if your back-up is actually another starter you expect some shit to get done. But Raycroft simply isn’t up to the job—unless the job includes being sodomized, at which he excels.

    So maybe a disgruntled fan or two could line up Raycroft and Ferguson against a wall somewhere in Little Italy and mow them down. The Toronto police will still blame the Jamaicans and they’d get off scott-free…

  2. […] goaltender yanking, or headlines like “Sens Rake Leafs”… looks like the Ferguson suicide watch is back […]

  3. […] should have been John Ferguson running himself through with a sword. But instead it was the struggling Buffalo Sabres that finally hit rock bottom in the tough […]

  4. […] Toronto so naturally, this was 40 years in the making. And they’d been calling for his head. Like us. And now that Ferguson’s done, there’s a tsunami of change a-comin’. […]

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