Guess who sucks?


Not this guy. Last night I had the pleasure (the pleasure!) of watching the Penguins at the Pepsi Center. I was hoping they’d pull the Avs’ pants down in their own barn but alas, Quenville‘s a crafty bastard. He played the fuck out of shut-down defenceman Scott Hannan, who limited them to just two goals.

Crosby scored the first two goals of the game, the first being the garbage, off-a-skate variety, but the second was a canon from the high slot, sneaking between the crossbar and Jose “I Still Have A Career, I Swear” Theodore. All the Pens fans in the audience were kvelling about it. Especially the women holding the “Marry me Crosby!” sign and her friend, “Malkin melts my butter!” and the guy who sits behind me who yelled for the refs to “throw a flag” last game. But it was not to be. The Avs potted two of their own garbage goals in the second, and added a pretty one too.

Anyway, all the Crosby cliches came to light, like “he really sees the ice well!” And lest we forget ol’ faithful, “he makes everyone around him better!”

Fine. It’s true. But when you see it in person, it looks the very opposite. The guy is so dangerous, even without the puck, he actually makes guys around him look inferior and sort of….bad. Roberts? Slow. Sykora? Invisible. Recchi? Can’t skate for shit. (Really, he can’t. He faffs around the rink with his ankles all wonky.) And Malkin, that rookie-of-the-year-2007, seemed mediocre.

There. We sound like everyone else about Crosby. We hate ourselves and plan on staying in tonight to eat a whole tub of Haagen Daas in our ‘jammies and hold the cat all night.


3 Responses

  1. can we caption this photo “Insert cock here.”?; although there seems to be a bit of transferance here as the post’s author seems to be the cocksucker and Crosby the suckee…

  2. GaughgghunnnnnAUCH…

    (The sounds of someone gargling testicles)

  3. What’s on Crosby’s face? Did he get cut or is that chocolate ice cream (or something like that) ? It’s too large a spot to be mere acne…

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