Todd Bertuzzi Feels All Warm And Tingly

Ogie

Good news, everybody! Todd Bertuzzi is feeling better! After suffering a nasty concussion in an open-ice collision with Derek Boogard of the Minnesota Wild (Oh, the irony!) on October 14th, the Ducks’ grizzled veteran-for-hire has been out with recurring bouts of head trauma-related inconveniences like nausea and dizziness. Those hoping for some late-breaking karmic payback for past behavioral lapses will be discouraged to learn that Bertuzzi thinks he sees a light at the end of the tunnel:

“I’m somewhat back to normal,” Bertuzzi told today’s L.A. Times. “It wasn’t good for a while. If the last couple of days are any indication, it’s going back in the right direction.”

Despite Bertuzzi’s confidence, Ducks coach Randy Carlyle has made it clear that his expensive replacement for Teemu Selanne will not be allowed back in the lineup until Bertuzzi demonstrates one hundred percent effectiveness in practice—preferably by ending the careers of several prospects recently brought up from the team’s AHL affiliate in Portland. “Todd’s going to need to prove that he’s game ready,” said Carlyle. “And I’m not talking about just breaking a few arms or ankles—I’m talking about at least a femur. Unless the arm had a really good compound fracture. Then we’d consider it.”

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3 Responses

  1. I would only let him back on the ice if could pull the still beating heart of a Triple A kid out and eat it on the blue line.

  2. @curtis: well, that would be one way to attract fans in non-traditional markets…

  3. @Loser Domi: would be one way to attract fans in non-traditional markets…
    oops, forgot to close tag. What an idiot

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