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Sens Run Out of Lube, Beat Record(s)!


Sure it was a franchise record eighth straight win and an NHL record for best start ever through 14 games (26 points). And sure they have six players on the All-star ballot, but those aren’t the real records the Ottawa Senators were after. No, last night they sought the elusive bazillionth sodomizing of their cross-province rivals, the lowly Toronto Maple Leafs, who continue to spread their cheeks for the Sens at every regular season opportunity. Come playoff time—on those rare occasions the Leafs actually make it in—it’s a different story, with the Sens being mysteriously vanquished by the Hogtown squad. But for now it’s just sheer terror for Leaf fans every time these teams meet, with no number of returning stars (Kyle Wellwood, Mark Bell) able to stem the 5-1 shooting gallery, short-handed goals against, inevitable second-period goaltender yanking, or headlines like “Sens Rake Leafs”… looks like the Ferguson suicide watch is back on.


3 Responses

  1. Good call. Notice that Ferguson wasn’t interviewed last night? He was drawing a bath, lighting candles, popping Diazepams, and listening to Evanescence.

  2. “…returning stars”? Only on the Leafs would those two be “…returning stars”.

  3. […] days?) to produce a scintillating blog. Like this triple-A commentary from last night’s Battle of Ontario: “Had one minor crisis at the game….I got ketchup on the sleeve! of my jersey! […]

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