Ryan Smyth Injured, Requires Tampons

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After having his nose smashed in after a hit by Calgary’s 220-pound Anders Eriksson, Avs forward Ryan Smyth left the game late in the second period. He reappeared in the third period with what looked like tampons in his nose. Heroic? Maybe if it happened during the playoffs. But against the suddenly flaccid Flames and during just the 20th game of the season? Hardly. Smyth should have gone home, lit candles, played his favourite Norah Jones album, poured a bath, and jerked himself right off.

Not our boy Smyth. Though when he came back for the third, ol’ Tampon Face could do nothing to stop the Flames from scoring four unanswered goals. Meanwhile, Keenan got our message about swapping Lombardi for Conroy on the first line. Sure enough, in his first game on the top line, Lombardi sets up an insane Iginla goal that would be the game winner. As for Conroy, he set up two goals himself.

The takeaway? Keenan is clearly taking his coaching cues from this website. And if you’re reading this, Mike, we wanted to say What The Fuck Took You So Long, and thanks.

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3 Responses

  1. Despite the common, ummm…. misconception, recent medical research has shown that a vagina is, in fact, not a wound.

  2. I’m just jealous of his hair. It’s better styled and conditioned, etc than mine is! And it has such lovely highlights…

    And I agree with Impulsive. Alhough I suppose tampons would work with a bloody nose

  3. something I forgot to add above–am I the only one who thinks that Ryan Smyth looks like the bastard child of Eric Idle? I look at “Life of Brian” era Idle and now-era Smyth, and the wheels start turning…

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