Brian Burke’s Giant Balls Are Making Us Deaf


During the nap that was the Bruins/Leafs game, the NHL’s broadcast partner, the Versus network, cut to a brief interview with Ducks’ GM Brian Burke. It’s worth noting that the NHL’s broadcast partner comes to me conveniently on channel 603, exactly 599 channels away from NBC, 587 from CBS, and 582 from Fox. Anyway, the Leafs were about to do what they do best–squander a two-goal lead on home ice–and Versus made sure to cut away from the “action” to talk to Burke. (It’s cool, Versus, we weren’t watching that.) But human quote machine Brian Burke made it worth while, though it was hard to hear him over the loud clanging sounds of his balls smashing into each other.

Burke, standing next to, and fucking with, John Ferguson, Leafs GM who spent $8 million on a backup goalie: “I’d make trades with him but he drives too hard a bargain.”

On Scott Niedermayer who will surely be coming back from retirement and it’s not even remotely a qustion anymore: “There’s some indication that he might want to come back but we haven’t heard anything yet.”

On Teemu Selanne coming back from retirement and not hearing anything from him: “We’re looking for pictures on the back of milk cartons.”


2 Responses

  1. ^balls

    learn to type, dumbass

  2. Big balls aren’t funny unless he has to have a wheel barrow to carry them.

    “‘scuse me, scuse me…a man with big ablls is coming through!”
    /Bill Hicks

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