Just Another Day in The Great White North

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“OK, NOW SWEATER THE LITTLE FUCKER!”

Tuesday, November 27, 2007. It’s snowing like fuck outside. The Leafs and Habs are taking their legendary rivalry to the 5th overtime shootout in their last 11 meetings, Anaheim Duck Todd Bertuzzi is holding a press conference in Vancouver (media interest is high in his first return to the city since leaving 2.5 years ago to play for, like, 13 other teams) where he mumbles absolutely nothing as he always did, and the Flames, despite the boost of having Kiprusoff yanked for the 3rd time this season, are being flambĂ©ed yet again by the Red Wings. Ahhhh… it’s all as Canadian as maple-syrup-flavored bacon, beer and bongs. But it’s also all a big fucking yawn compared to the heart-warming front-page story on this morning’s Globe & Mail: “Coaches under fire after teams of 8-year-olds brawl on ice.” Yeah, baby. I can’t say anything funny enough to do this story justice, so I’ll just offer these key-word phrases: ‘chirping,’ ‘bench-clearing,’ ‘coaches spitting,’ ‘encouraged.’

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