Things that make you go Holy Shit

niedermayer.jpg  Niedermayer: Back next week?

1. Duck confit: Niedermayer is back with the Ducks. Is anyone surprised? No. But he’s back for the rest of the season. He’s not the answer to their need for second line scoring but he can get their breakout going and make the PP sing. Brian Burke made sure to say “we’ll see his conditioning is at” and said some other typically scary shit, only to say “we expect him in a game next week.”

2. Lone gunman, no more: Court documents show that Todd Bertuzzi was, um, “inspired” by his coach at the time, Marc Crawford. The docs allegedly say that Crawford said “[Moore] must pay the price. And yet Crawford is not a defendant in the case. All of which proves that the only crime Black Cloud Todd is guilty of is listening. We wrote in our diaries that we thought Todd was a really good listener. But now there’s, like, TOTAL proof. OMG!

3. Ottawa has stopped losing…by narrowly beating the Panthers 5-4. Ray Emery stopped a third-frame penalty shot to make it happen. For the Sens to just squeak by over a loser-filled sunbelt team is just pathetic. But maybe it’s just what they need to turn the ship around. On paper, this is one of the greatest teams ever assembled. And from what we’ve seen with post-lockout parity, this assemblage may never happen again. May as well take advantage of the lineup and win this season because concentrated talent like this team may never happen again.

4. Crosby played in Edmonton. The hockey writers stampeded to come to the same conclusion, that Crosby is like a young Gretzky. (No journalists were hurt in the shitstorm.) All of which proves that hockey’s fifth estate is in sad, sad shape. It’s not enough that these hacks get free seats. But their headline “puns”, tired analysis, and shitball writing are making us a little crazy over here.

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