Did anyone actually pay attention to the climate change talks in Bali going on the last couple of days? No? Don’t worry about it. Neither did China, India, or Russia. Anyway, during the conference, the Canadian environment minister gave a speech outlining the fact that if America, China, India, and Russia don’t sign on to an emission reduction agreement, it doesn’t matter one drop of piss if anyone else does. Mandating the wee polluters to reduce their emissions is a start, but ultimately, it’s just so guys in bowling shoes and asymetric haircuts can come to your dinner party and tell you what a difference it’ll make if all of Cambodia’s 48 drivers ease off the throttle.
Then, Al Gore took the mic and condescended so badly to Canada, that 17 children in earshot of the remarks were critically wounded. (All are expected to die.) Gore’s condescension, which spurred the 190 countries in attendance to erupt into an ovation, was this:
“He was the best passer in the history of the game, Bobby Hull. Others might disagree (and say) Wayne Gretzky…[who said] ‘I don’t pass the puck to where they are — I pass the puck to where they’re going to be.’ Over the next two years, the United States is going to be somewhere it is not now. You must anticipate that.”
Thanks for clarifying, bud. Before they heard “Gretzky” the Canadian delegation was gnawing on Tim Hortons and discussing the weather (hot enough for ya?) and looking confused as to what this whole thing was aboooot. Good thing it was hockey to the rescue. Phew!
But just so Gore knows, under the Geneva Conventions, no politician has the right to tell Canada anything about its climate if they haven’t been to the prairies during winter. Has Gore ever been to Winnipeg in January? I fucking doubt it. If he did, maybe he’d wake up and say, “You know what? Fuck this. The world ought to pollute this place a little more tolerable.”
He really should visit the ‘Peg. After all, that’s where Hull played his best years.