Last night, Carolina and Ottawa provided us with a video seminar on fighting.
1. If you run the goalie, you’re basically sending out an e-vite to have your ass handed to you. Especially if the team is down to one goalie as Ottawa was last night due to Emery’s vaginal soreness.
2. If a non-fighter challenges you (i.e., Mike Fisher) you better fucking win.
3. If you start losing (badly, as Scott Walker does) just accept your status as a douche and wait for the refs to save your sorry ass. Do NOT headbutt (see 2:09 of video) or throw in a late shot when the refs are in there (see 2:12).
4. If you disregard any of #3, wait by your phone for Colin Campbell, the league disciplinarian, to call you, reach through the little holes in your ear piece, and punch you in the balls.