A bunch of crazy-ass hockey shit happened in the NHL last night—like, Edmonton beating Detroit despite Zetterberg racking up another two goals (well, it was a shootout), not to mention Bali, but nothing is crazier than the 15-goal gunfight in Tampa. Jarome Iginla and Kristian Huselius had three goals each in the Flames’ 9-6 victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning. Hell, Huselius’ first career hat trick gave him a 5-point night fer crissake—Calgary often goes three games without players racking up five points total. It was a crazy meltdown both ways, with Keenan and Torterefuckinrrella both pulling out their hair, and in the end it was Iginila who pulled it out of the Flames’ ass for Calgary. Iginla, who scored all his goals in the third period for six career hat tricks, busted a 6-6 tie with at 5:19 and 4:19 left in the period. For Tampa, who already handed out a 6-1 Ho-Ho Holiday Gift Pack to the Leafs last week, it’s time to get those Christmas stockings off their heads and the plum pudding out of their asses.
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