Worst. Announcers. Ever.

head_up_your_ass.jpgFox announcers, watching the game as usual.

They’re probably hockey’s best team. They’ve probably got the best first line, the single-best D-man, and two number-one goalies. But Fox Sports announcers keep apologizing for Detroit, who will probably yawn their way to the President’s trophy unless Ottawa squeaks past. The apologizing in question? That there’s no such thing as easy points for the Red Wings anymore; that the Central Division has better teams this year.

What? Like the Blackhawks (3-7 in the last ten)? Like the Predators (4-6 in the last ten)? Like the St. Louis Blues, who’ve scored the third fewest goals in the league? Do these guys fucking read?

Because these announcers can’t get the jobs they want, like calling basketball, golf or baseball, we have to endure this myopic garbage, not to mention their “parallels” like comparisons of slapshots to golf club speed. If they actually followed the game they’d know that the biggest divisional point disparity is the Central, with nearly 20 separating the roof from the basement. Check the standings below, courtesy of TSN.ca. Now look at the Atlantic (seven point spread) and the Northwest (four).

Detroit has a tough division like Lohan quits coke. These guys have inserted their heads into their rectums after lubing with Krazy Glue.

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