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Public Drinking Contest Deemed Total Success


Not that I saw it. I was stuck in the airport because one flight attendant didn’t show up. True story. Two hundred people with savage hangovers, unable to watch the Winter Classic because of Air Canada. May they all die.

So we’ll focus on the fallout. The good news is that the game hit a 2.4 in TV audience share. That kind of thing makes Aaron Sorkin characters weak in the knees and wet in the pants but we haven’t a fucking clue what that means. But it drew more than twice the highest rated playoff game from last year, which doesn’t mean anything because those games were eclipsed by Full House re-runs on channel 3,942. Gary Bettman, with his traditional warmth, used the intimacy of a prepared statement to say, “based on the response, on our ability to execute, and the inquiries we’re getting from clubs for similar activities, this obviously is something we’re going to look at doing again.” (Stoked off his tits!)

But Bettman wasn’t the only one stoked. Even the skeptics rallied behind the concept in the end.


“Didya see it?”

“Yeah. It was snowing.”

“I know. Snow’s cool.”

“I like Pitsburgh’s uniforms… and the toques. Toques are cool, too.”

“And Crosby. Fuckin’ eh or what?

“Yeah. Some announcer said you could hear him yelling all the way to Coal Harbour.”

“Where’s the fuck’s that?”

“Who fuckin’ cares.”

“Wanna grab a couple seals and see if the Kid can beat the Leafs tonight?”

“Sounds good.”


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