Outdoor Classic Take 2: Red Bull Serves Up Gayest Thing On Ice.

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You know how hockey players sometimes skate each other into the boards chasing the puck on an icing call? Well what if you had four teams doing it at once? And what if the rink were a 536-metre track that dropped about 60 metres and players had to make sharp calculated turns while racing downhill at 50 kph, making jumps and flying over gigantic sections of steps like fucking skateboarders. You’d have to get rid of the pucks and sticks to make way for the inevitable carnage. And that’s what more than 75,000 fans get to watch each year at the Red Bull Crashed Ice, a dumb name for a dumb spectacle in a province that’s all about that kind of gay Euro-stuff. Naturally, Québec City is proud to host this event for a third straight year on January 26 as part of the city’s 400th anniversary celebrations. It’s billed as a spectacular mix of downhill skiing, hockey and Boarder-cross, but we know what it really is: the next NHL outdoor classic. “As far as I can see this type of event is the future, and we’re taking a hard look at it,” says NHL commish Gary Bedwetterman. “It’s in line with our philosophy of taking hockey in a completely absurd direction… as well as proof that the Frogs… er, Quebeckers… will pay to watch anything involving skates.”

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2 Responses

  1. “proof that the Frogs… er, Quebeckers… will pay to watch anything involving skates.””

    And people falling down–you can’t forget people falling down!

  2. Im a Quebecker. It’s friggin awesome.

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