Downie’s Syndrome Cured! (Thanks, Georges!)

WayOffside has recently learned that Quebec-born Georges Laraque is a hobbyist physician. Our team of researchers/shower voyeurs and stick boys recovered his medical journal following last night’s game against the Flyers.

Log: 1/24/08
Location: Philadelphia
Notes: Oui, les Flyers’ hab all succumbed to Downie’s Syndrome. It’s ‘ard to believe that these…these…these, eh, man/enfants have not learned from positive re-hinforcement, negative consequences, or da punitive trehts of da NHL: hinviting one to play in le All-Star Game. Zut alors! I must take dese man/enfants, side-by-each, and hexamine dem.

Patient: Steve Downie. Dis patient ‘as many, many problems. ‘E ‘as no hability to restrain ‘imself hin key situation hinvolving des board and ‘itting players hin les numeros sur their backs.

Diagnosis: Downie’s Syndrome.

Treatment: happlying liberal tastings of hown medicine. Topically.

Patient: Riley Cote. Like Downie, dis guy tink dat hits hokay to ‘it guy in da ‘ead. ‘E halso tink dat ‘e pretty tough, per’aps suffering from ‘igh self hesteem wit complications of Downie’s Syndrome.

Treatment: 13 lefts.

Prognosis for both patients: incurable.

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